Call me insane, immature or just plain ditzy; but out of the blue - a few weeks ago - I started thinking about Sailor Moon... and with that I started thinking about my childhood, because that was my main obsession for a couple of years while in grade school.

Jen, Nichelle, Alex and I were absolutely insane about them that we matched our signs to the Sailors (Jen was Sailor Moon, Nichelle was Sailor Mercury, Alex was Sailor Mars and I, hehe, was Sailor Jupiter) and we'd go on insane tangents about the guy in the series: Darien. I have to say he was the first fictional mega-cutie that ever caught my interest.

So when I started thinking about this, I began to feel the urge to watch the show over again because I never really had the story straight. I told Jen and like the hardcore fans we were, we dived into our 12-13 year old selves and began to watch the series from top to bottom - from the very first episode to the the very last episode. (Episode 200). Or, rather I did. Jen watched over my shoulder occasionally and explained something I was missing and suggested I read the manga.

I'm not a manga person.

But the original chapters (they were made way before the show, btw) are so deeper, so beautiful, the characters are amazing, and so much better than the show it was impossible not to get hooked into them from the first page.

And of course, because they're deeper, they were also ridiculously moving with adult themes and such heart-wrenching moments I had never imagined in my life would be possible for a happy series like Sailor Moon - the last five novels made me cry. Honest to god, tears flowing down my face as I clicked past everyone's death.

Anyway, the reason I posted this is because I'm mentally regressing back to a stage where I don't have to worry about anything except what happens to Usagi (her American name is Serena) and Darien because of school. I once again, feel like I'm burning out.

I just saw my grandmama for the first time in thirteen years.


I miss everyone.

Just watched the trailer for Assassin's Creed: Bloodlines.

Jesus Christ this makes want to get a PSP.

SON OF A BITCH.


The Black Edition of Assassin's Creed II looks a-freaking-mazing. A figurine of Ezio? A booklet? THE SOUNDTRACK?!?!?!?!

And it's only available in PAL territories??? What the hellll????

Lately, I've kind of interested in playing GTA IV. I heard awful things about the game... but mobster stuff was always fun for me and before I played GTA III on the PS2 ... for about five minutes. The disk was too scratched. I liked how you got extra points for totaling your car.

But I was hunting around Amazon.com for it and I came across a thread that said, "Should I buy this for my 15 year old?" I started reading and it was "No" along with "explicit sex" across the board until I saw a comment that directed to author or the thread to check out the video "Ladies of Liberty City" in IGN.com.

I just Googled it and I'm appalled, like literally just... horrified.

Seriously, what the fuck kind of a game is that? I don't want to fuck hookers and hear all the disgusting things they say... and this guy with a Russian accent is an asshole. Sigh. Well, at least I saved myself some cash.

I've thinking a lot lately about... marriage. And excuse my crass language - its usually how I deal with these things.

I don't know if its because I'm getting closer and closer to twenty when things with people get 'serious' and let me express one thing - I have been in one single relationship (I'm counting it as a relationship even though he was in England and I was here because I actually loved him) in my entire life. I have kissed one boy on the lips (by accident) and I have not had honest-to-god sex.

I don't know the guy mentality about coming up to someone who is a virgin in all possible ways with a personality like mine. His reactions (attracted by the idea of my cherry or repelled by my lack of elite skills) - oh wait I think this is just my insecurities talking.

I keep thinking of guys my age and how they exasperate and annoy me. How I look at older men and actually feel interest. Must be the crazy, frustrated single woman in me actually paying attention. I wish you just knew who your soul mate was - yes, I believe in that stuff.

I keep thinking about meeting a great guy, kissing him and having little to no idea on what to do. (Well, I sort of do. Haha, movies.)

I keep thinking about being a relationship and just... blanking out from lack of reference. I'm not going to use any relationship I know now (with the exception of Kim and Carlos and Brittany and Miles) as a sort of... guidance tool.

All the relationships I see disintegrate horribly and all I think about is how I don't want that to happen with someone I really love. Well, first I have to have someone I really love. Where am I going to find a person, a man that can semi-understand my mind and keep up with... me in general? There are my insecurities again. I really feel like I need to take off - I don't like living here. This culture is awful and that's why I'm pinning on Europe for me to go to - France, hopefully.

I keep thinking about being married - living one day after the other with that one person, talking, laughing, smiling and then having a kid - the pain of labor and the task of being a mother to a baby, a five year old and later on a teenager... and at twenty, I can feel it moving closer like some kind of huge motherfucking mountain. Not in a bad way - but in the way you feel when you're about to do something so exciting you've never done before and the day you do it is getting closer and closer.

My distraction this great and amazing truth? Assassin's Creed 2. Its temporary - don't worry, I'll face it head on when November 26th gets here and I'm suddenly twenty years old.

As for my twenty first birthday - I will not go to a bar, a club and get hammered out of my mind. I vowed not to drink anything beyond a glass of wine on special occasions... or if I go to France an adopt the red wine habit they seem to have.

The concept of marriage is just so huge, I can't think about it without stopping and day dreaming. I see myself with a doctor - oh, speaking of doctors and marriage - mom and I talked about it.

She said, "If you marry anyone with less than a Doctorate, I will not be at your wedding."

Jokingly, of course, but I saw the message and I agreed.

I need to stop thinking about this.

I wrote more... but on my blog.

I don't like war games.

I really don't - I tried playing Call of Duty 4, I think it was and I didn't like it. So why do I like Battlefield: Bad Company so much?

No idea. It could be the comic relief every ten seconds that distracts me from the fact that these are now zombies I'm killing. I love the premise - the gold, Haggard single-handedly invading a "neutral" country. I haven't finished it yet. I figured this time I'll do the smart thing and get all the gold bars and collectibles while playing normal and hard. I'm on Hard mode now - and it burns. A sniper shot can take 60 off my health when on normal its usually forty. My health replenishes slower. I do have a kick ass weapon though and I might have been slaughtered by a tank less than a thousand times.

Or maybe its the fact that I manage to crush on nearly every game protagonist... or antagonist or every gmae that I own. With the exception of Nariko - from Heavenly Sword.

Today... or yesterday actually, was the last day of Studies in Women' Literature class. We just had out final test and we had to hand in our papers about the poems we wrote and stuff. I was fortunate enough to have finished the paper the day before.

Gabriel is sleeping over for the second night today - apparently his dad feels that its okay to cart him off here. Its okay - I don't mind but... I dunno I would just like be warned next time he's sleeping over. Or anyone form his family for that matter.

Also, I had originally signed up for two french classes and two English and yesterday I went to check the big book of classes to read the description and guess what. I need FRE 103 or higher to take that class. What the hell!

So I dropped it really quick and just added um... Mythological Backgrounds of something something. ENG 333, with Hoberg again - which is both a pro and con. Pro because his class is easy and con because he can make me go to sleep effortlessly and he's like a little kid trapped in a 70 year old body. He's just so excited that its awesome to see but at the same time... its a three hour class like Women's lit. I don't know for how long I can stand this.

I'm also plagued with the fear of burning out. I feel it in my bones that sometimes I just don't get excited about all the stuff I'm doing. Maybe I'm disillusioned about my University experience... but still its having a huge impact on my mentality. I'm playing videogames way too much. I'm just not into a lot of things I was into before. It's kind of bothering me.

I signed up for the ever dreaded Practical Criticism class that is a requirement for all English majors and its taught by the chair of the department - Dr. Libretti. I've heard so many awful things about this class that I'm dreading going into it. The bad thing? I have that class Tuesdays and Thursdays... at 9:25AM. They always schedule that class at the most obnoxious times. I remember last semester it was at 7pm. The hell kind of a time is that?

Also, my schedule somehow worked out so I don't have classes on Friday. That is a good thing but the rest of the week I have class until 7 at night. Its the fall semester so its going to be cold.

What the hell is happening to me?

It has to be music without words. If it has lyrics then I loose concentration and being a sing-fest that goes on until the stuff I have is due.


Usually, its something that has a good beat ... specifically the RE5 and Assassin's Creed soundtrack.

I'm such an idiot the paper is due today. Fuck.


HEADFUCKINGDESK.

Oooh! My book came today. I always take advantage of Amazon's SuperSaver Shipping deal so I ordered Alice Hoffman's Incantation and Battlefield: Bad Company. Battlefield was $18.99.

How can anyone resist that.

I normally don't like war games like CoD or whateverthefuck but this one was funny and I played the demo when I god Dead Space so... ka-ching. I also saw Mirror's Edge for $19.99 but after Battlefield, I didn't have the cash. Damn.

So, I feel like I have to blog about this experience I had last night in the Mercenaries.

I'm staying away from Versus mode - just because I need to refine aiming and shooting skillz so I can go kick ass in Versus mode with people that aren't assholes.

It's kind of hard to describe:

I'm hunting around for a Duo match in Mercs and I see a couple but one has the best connection. So I hook up with this... um... person (not sure if its a guy or a girl... most likely a guy form the name) and we start killing things. We're in my best stage: the Ancient Ruins and I had my best character: Sheva (Tribal). I'm not sure why she's my best. Could it be the one-hit-kill longbow that I can somehow aim really, really, really well even thoug hthe laser thing is not there like Krauser in RE4? Seriously, I can hit a Majini that's literally a speck on the screen. Also, the good thing about the Ruins is that they're most narrow hallways, so they can come at you from front or back and that's it. Its not a huge wide space like Public Assembly, the Village or a maze like the Prison or the Ship Deck.

Anyway, I had my own rhythm for this stage but this guy's rhythm wasn't hard to figure out. I just followed him and like... man, I just knew what he was going to do. There were a few nooks were Time Bonuses were at and he went and I turned and began killing them as they came up. I was covering him and he came back, we killed a batch and then moved on. Perfect Harmony.

I mean, it was kind of creepy, I was intensely focused and I knew there was a Time Bonus ahead and I just kept going and he turned and started shooting while I went as I said, "Okay, cover me," as I was running to get the Bonus, and got him some shotgun shells and it was perfect. We were literally side by side, facing opposite directions covering each other and this one time... oh man, it was like he read my mind.

So, we're into our last wing of our most sucessful round (we got SS ranks) and the path forks into two opposite directions. However, I know he's got a Magnum and there's a Giant Majini where the Time Bonus is at and a Combo timer on the other end and we just split off and he starts killing when I get the Combo and it was perfect. Were on opposite sides and aiming towards wach other and it was a slaughter fest. It was perfect. Our score of 173988 must never be forgotten.

Today, however, another epic gaming experience happened.

I was in Public Assembly, with another person, and for some reason I was just doing really really well and so was he. We ended up chaining a 87 combo and just killing ALL of the Majini. There's 150 per stage and it you get then all before the timer ends, you finish the stage automatically and your score is ridiculous. We ended up getting 200000+ points.

Lol.

He added me to his Friends List and we played today. I wanted to try Battlesuit Jill because of her rifle.

I moved my lawn - got a slight tan in the process - pulled weeds and read some steamy Assassin's Creed fanfiction. I usually don't read that crap, but I'm experiencing lack-of-Ezio/Altair syndrome. It sucks and I'm reduced to reading fangirl crap on FanFiction.net. Some of the crap is rather funny. It's kind of like reading Twilight fanfiction. Shudder.

Then, I was playing the Mercenaries, Duo mode, with a this guy. I think we did quite well but the highest rank we got was an A. Not bad for our second time playing and the third time he chose the God0awful stage: The Ship Deck.

Do you have any idea what its like to have not one, people, but TWO goddamn chainsaw freaks come at you, grunting with their burlap heads and beady white eye and they have this hair raising laugh when they go to chop your face off? No. You don't. And not to mention I had one of the weakest characters for that stage - Jill - and my buddy - Wesker - was busy grappling when I got nailed several billion times by axes and whatever the fuck.

Sigh.

I might have put Versus mode up on a pedestal but I was disappointed. Mostly in myself for sucking and for not having a headset so I could communicate with people.

One memorable match: Two Battlesuit Jills coming up me with shotguns - one in the front, one in the back - and shot me dead. That is some serious coordinating.

Now, here I am, nailing zombies in the Mercs. Hahaha, take that.

I'm still terrified of the Ship Deck.

I expected yesterday to go like this:

School >> FACEPALMPOETRYCLASS >> Home >> Get on PS3 and mess with the PSHome >> Find awesome Add-ons >> Play >> Write my Poem for Women's Lit >> Hang out with Mama >> Sleep.

It went like this: School >> AMAZEYOUWITHMYINSIGHTSPOETRYCLASS >> Home early >> Start messing my PS3 and PSHome...

My stepfather came to the living room and help out his phone and said, "He wants to talk to you."

Since when does he want to talk to me? I'm the anti-Christ to him. So I grabbed his phone and mentally said, "I do not need an exorcism yet," but what came out of my mouth was, "Hello? Oswaldo?"

To my surprise, it was Michelle, my cousin-by-law (I feel the need to differentiate between real-blood-cousin with cousin by law. Its my retaliation for everytime my stepfather introduces me as his "daughter"), and she was saying, "Do you want to go to the theaters?"

"Uh, okay."

"I'm sleeping over and my dad said yes. He's giving me money. Okay? I'll be there in a few minutes."

She does that sort of thing. She's eleven and she wants to be like me. I find that adorable an exasperating. She should be who she wants to be and she's got it stuck in her head that because I was a tomboyish girl, its okay and cool for her to be one too. So instead of her usual attire, skirt and really cute tops, she comes wearing boy's basketball shorts that go to the ankles and an Ecuador soccer shirt (I have a matching one) with her hair up in a pony tail and black running shoes.

Um. What. But she's eleven and a little crazy so I figure that's just her being her and we look up the times on my laptop for Cinemark for any movie. I've kinda wanting to see Transformers 2 for myself since keep hearing "It sucks" and "It's off da hook (from Michelle)" from right and left so we picked that one and we had pretty good time. My stepfather let my borrow the car so we drove to Cinemark were we pretty much just debated on what to eat. We decided on pizza and Michelle told me that this was a romantic night out for her parents so, ahaha, they had carted off all um... four of their kids to different places and I was like... uh okay.

I had extremely low expectations for this movie which is probably why the movie surpased them all and made it seem like a bitchin' action guy flick. Really, the dialogue was funnier, maybe it was because I wasn't used to hearing "Son of a bitch!" come from a tiny ass robot, but Shia was hilarious in it as well and I dreamnt about the guy - the one from the first movie, tall curly black hair and the CIA or whatever agent - and his tighty-whitey thong last night. And it wasn't a good dream.

I liked it though, and Megan Fox was dressed exactly like Sheva Alomar and she was slutty as hell with her short shorts - even though I sometimes wear those - just... not with a bra-tramp top.

I had fun and she slept over, and I finally got to messing with PS Home and uh... yeah she fell asleep and, god, she thrashes like a beast when she's asleep. We woke up - or I woke up because I had to pee like nobody's business - and she called her dad to get her because she had to go to a birthday party and when I woke up again it was one in the afternoon. Oops.

Oh well. One thing though, the trailer for New Moon was there and I, at the top of my voice said, "Gay!" while it was going. the only good thing about it is Jacob.

I also made my mom watch Gran Torino - and I cried again.

PS: I do not love the new Camaro. They are butt ugly and the old ones look 100 times better.

There is nothing more addicting than watching Altair jump and climb and the Assassin's Creed II trailer.

God help me.

I forgot the password to most of my Photobucket accounts.

The main one I use is registered to an email I deleted. Dammit dammit dammit.

I know I have stuff on there that I don't have on my computer.

I know I know I don't update.

Don't blame me... but I honestly love my Blogger.

Meh.

Obama's speech seemed superficial and kind of ... wordless.

This is getting ridiculous, its no longer an event in which we will choose the nation's next leader, but rather a powerplay.

I'm sick of it. Come Novemeber and I wont give a fuck.

Animorphs!!!

I always try to remain neutral about a movie before - and after - I see it.
See, it takes me a day or so to get over the emotions after watching a really good movie before I start actually thinking about the components of it.

I happily failed dismally to stick to this while watching the Dark Knight. The whole odyssey of watching this movie was mostly just me, giddy, on the edge of my seat, staring at the screen, with a lake of drool pooling on my leg and the seat and the occasional "Ohmygodholyshitthat'ssoawesome" burbling out my mouth.

The drool part was a joke. I didn't actually drool, although if I had it would have been completely acceptable.

The one - and only - thing I didn't like about it is Rachel.
WAIT.


I love Maggie Gyllenhaal because she's an amazing actress (ie: Sherrybaby, Donnie Darko) and she's sorta pretty. But she is not Rachel Dawes. Katie Holmes is.... and according to Jen Katie Holmes decided to do Mad Money a movie that sucked beyond belief.
Sucks.

Heath Ledger is the Joker.
'nuff said.

I started reading Animorphs again.

I know I never update, but I like my Blogger better.

I still check all you guy's (Cheri, Michelle, Kim, etc.) LJ's. :D